CPTSD

The anxiety is crippling.The depression is all encompassing.

The healing process seems to be for life.

The agony of learning too late in life that only my own mind has the privilege to self define.

But it is the trauma that keeps me up night after night. 

The trauma of her fists of furry delivering cruel blows and her perfectly painted lips delivering even crueler words.

The obscenities ring in my head.

I am suddenly back there a little girl cowering from the monsters and wishing she was dead. 

Thank you for teaching me darkness dear mother. Without your cruelty I might have never found the light.

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