I am your highest self and I must speak up.
I feel ugly and discarded like a swarm of bees you poison for fucking up your garden.
You have become so caught up in your quest for lust
I worry I will never be enough.
Your pull towards sensual pleasures is no measure to what our union could bring.
The union of body and soul before you get to old and the pain of losing your beauty cripples you to the point that you will never find me.
Where is your appreciation?
I’ve become so disappointed in your lack of ability to resist temptation.
If only you could see through my eyes the brilliance of your radiance.
-What does your soul have to tell YOU?
No matter which way the pendulum may swing
I will still dance with the fairies.
I will still continue to laugh when the timing is wrong.
I will still drop the burdens you gave me to carry.
No matter the remembrance of the words that still sting.
There is nothing and nooone in this world that could make me not sing.
Especially you whom I trusted simply because I had to.
You asked me to leave and I was more then glad to.
Now I sit in utter bliss just me and my favorite companion-my own weirdness.
Vivid are the colors in my mind.
Otherworldly and impossible to describe.
A kaleidoscope of unbalanced hues
A plethora of scattered symbols and not quite shades of gold and blue.
Which my human retinas can never view.
The rainbows of the divine are only perfectly aligned when I see with my third eye.
I see space and I see time.
I see all the things that words could never define.
I am made of stardust and you are made of pure love.
How else could one explain the draw of two souls yearning to become one.
It was a late night parlay. We were playing Russian roulette-and we knew it.
I was outside of my body.
I was already long since out of my own mind. Which made it easier to say screw it let’s do this.
You were deep in your fiend and my heart was deeply in need of a companion who lived and breathed.
I was so innocent that night. Convinced that all I did was drive. As I watched you come back from the shadows with a smile in your eyes.
I was simply going to try. But I awoke after sleeping the dead of the dope.
Surrounded by bags with traces of powder lining the inside.
It is never just a late night ride. It is never just one time.
And I lost you forever that night to the devil dressed in white.
Spreads so sweetly over my entire body.
It washes away all the judgmental thoughts that are the rigidity of our society.
And they wonder why we are a generation of medicated autonomy.
You are captured radiant and divine essensce.
Solidified and formed into a most sacred vessel.
Perhaps you are pristine enough to lead us all to heaven.
Perhaps you will be pure enough to make my darkness lessen.
Desire-for life and for love.
Desire-for balance between the earth below and the heavens above.
Desire-to prove wrong all those who said I would never be enough.
You were all dead wrong.
Your mind is filled with mazes of dusty and darkened corners.
Where stacks of books sit that explain your elusive and intriguing story.
And I would love to go exploring amidst the cobwebs and the dirt.
If you would so implore me.
Doubt-In myself is disguised as projected lack of trust in those whom surround me.
Doubt-Grows so dangerously extreme. It starts with the smallest of insignificant seeds. Once planted it is a force of darkness of fear driving us quietly as it remains unseen.
Doubt-When proven wrong by those who refuse to believe. Who are driven by it to succeed gives birth to the greatest love the world will ever see.